and like a wrecking ball in reverse
by curiouslyominousrazzlingdazzle

and like a wrecking ball in reverse

curiouslyominousrazzlingdazzle

Summary

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

Notes

Published on AO3: 2021-04-22

Untitled Chapter

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

Or, well, it would be. If things were normal, that would be the end of the story. But he dies and—wakes up.

Shakes himself awake, really. Like falling in your dreams, waking up when you hit the ground. He's dying, dying, dead. And now he's awake, alive and well. When he pats himself down, there's not a wound on him; not a hint of the damage caused by a piano falling on top of him. Crushing him to death. 

He doesn't think it's normal, to get crushed by a piano and wake up whole and well. It seems like something people would talk about, if it were. Like "Oh yeah, make sure you don't get hit by a piano, it's a pain to get covered by insurance" or something. Surely,  that kind thing would be a known issue to avoid. Or maybe it was just this piano, maybe it was special of some kind?

It's not like this is exactly a problem though, so he doesn't spare it any mind. It's possible it was all just an incredibly vivid dream, and he shouldn't make any judgments before he has all the facts. 

Kiyotaka mechanically goes through the process of getting, doing the same things he always does in the morning. It's important to have a routine, he thinks. It means you don't have to guess what happens next. So getting ready is easy and familiar and he exits his room at the same time he always does.

He's only been at this school—Tokyo Metropolitan Advanced Nurturing High School—for about two weeks now, and he thinks he's starting to settle into a routine. It's a Monday today, so he heads straight for the classroom. There won't be any actual studying, based on prior experience, but he's a student so he should still attend class. It's the normal thing to do.

A truant student is more noticeable than the student who sits quietly at the back of the class doing nothing, after all. So he's going to class, the day after he was summarily crushed by a piano, because that's the normal thing to do.

For being a school day, there are surprisingly few students walking the grounds. 

Nobody pays any attention to him. He crosses the first part of the grounds easily enough, and he veers off the path to check out the location he died at yesterday. 

It's a sunny day today; just like yesterday. The wind quietly whines through the foliage, the early morning light casting long shadows on the ground. Kiyotaka walks undisturbed, and the silence unsettles him. Because it's Monday, and there should be students frantically rushing to class right now. Kiyotaka always makes certain to arrive just before class starts, so he's not that person who arrives early before everyone else, or a person known for their lateness. 

He's got the timing down to perfection. He knows the students who he usually sees on these mornings, the way they rush past him like it's a matter of life and death. Usually upperclassmen, but it's mostly the same people. He walks this path for a reason, after all.

There's nothing special about the place he died. 

He thoroughly searches the ground, but can't find any trace of blood or other splatter that would occur when a person is crushed by something that heavy. There are no traces of the damage from the window the piano fell out of the either, and the surroundings are completely undamaged. Not so. much as a wooden splinter to be found.

He founds it doubtful that even a school such as this would be able to completely erase the traces so quickly. Or maybe they could, but there should still be some kind of effort to keep it contained and uncontaminated in case an investigation needs to be made. But there's nothing, and that's most unsettling of all.

Kiyotaka finally determines that no more evidence can be found here and continues on to his classroom. There are less and less students around the closer he comes and his watch tells him he's still early. There should still be people rushing around him. But—eventually there's nobody.

Eventually, he stands in front of his classroom and the door is locked. Eventually, he looks through the windows and discovers there's not a person in there. Eventually, he turns on his phone and checks the date.

Eventually, he discovers it's Sunday—again.

There's not really a lot he can do after that. He returns to his room, settles down on the bed and tries to organize his thoughts. He even contacts Horikita, but there's no evidence to suggest that it should be Monday. 

Once all the evidence has been collected, it would be foolishness to deny the truth. It's Sunday. Being crushed by a piano never happened. The only assumption left is that he had a particularly memorable dream—such things are possible. But now that the facts have been determined, he dismisses the rest of the happenings.

He goes through the rest of the day much like he remembers from his dream. It's not odd; he's done pretty much the exact same things every weekend here so far. And dreams take their images and content from your memories, so there's really nothing strange about it.

Kiyotaka spends some time reading in the library, goes to the park and jogs, reads some nice magazines in one of the shops, eats lunch, plays some games on his phone, eats dinner, walks back to his dorm, takes the elevator—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

But, no, because he dies, dies, dies, and then he—wakes up.

He startles awake really, his heart pounding as his eyes flash open. Like falling in a dream, jumping awake the moment you hit the ground. His hand reaches out for his phone, grabbing it from the bedside table. He brings it up to his face, frowning when he sees the date and time.

It's Sunday. It's morning; the weather is sunny with mild winds and no projected rain. He rubs his eyes and blinks at the sunlight streaming in through the windows. A suspicion grows inside of him and he curls his hand around the phone, his eyebrows furrowing. 

It's strange. 

He quickly changes into his uniform, his frown growing large the more time he takes. Every time he checks his phone or watch, the time is unchanged. It's still Sunday. It's still morning. Nothing changes.

Kiyotaka stalks out into the hallway. He steps up to the elevator, glancing around it. There's nobody else in the corridor; it's only six-thirty in the morning on a Sunday so most people are probably still asleep. It means he's undisturbed when he walks into the elevator and investigates it, checking over every inch of it.

But there's no sign of it having fallen. There's no sign of his death in here.

Kiyotaka frowns again. Once is a coincidence but twice? It looks disturbingly enough like the beginning of a pattern. 

He doesn't think this is normal. He doesn't think people usually die and wake up at the start of the day. It seems like the kind of thing people would be warned against, like something people would talk about it. No, if something this extraordinary was normal, he would know.

So it's not normal. But there's no way to tell if it's supposed to be an attack against him, if it's something deliberate done by a human. He doesn't have much faith left over for supernatural beings, but he doesn't think he's nearly interesting enough for something like that to go messing with him, if they do exist.

After all, Ayanokouji Kiyotaka is perfectly normal. 

The elevator doesn't reveal anything, as does none of the probing on any of the people he knows. They're not allowed to have contact outside of the school, so he can't exactly easily search for similar instances such as this. Thus, after eating a healthy breakfast, Kiyotaka heads to the library to do some research.

When it comes to dangerous things such as this, knowledge is the number one priority. He's gone over every inch of his skin, categorized every memory he has of the last few days, and he's fairly confident that this is neither a dream nor a delusion. That leaves outside influences as the only possible reason for this strange occurrence, which means—research. And lots of it.

He arrives at the library. Nodding to the librarian on duty, he makes his way through—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

Except, not really. Because he dies, dies, dies, and then he—wakes up.

He bounces on the bed, his eyes flying open. Like when you fall in a dream and wake up the instant you hit the ground; he bounces, and his eyes stare up at the ceiling, and he frowns.

This is officially a pattern. It's happened three times in a row and the evidence all suggests that it will happen again unless he figures out how to stop it. He will have to return to the library, as he didn't have time to start researching before the bookcases fell on him and he was returned to this moment in time. 

Kiyotaka sighs as he sits up. He checks the phone, but it's the same as always; exactly the same. It's even the precisely same time down to the minute. 

He rubs his neck, scratches slightly on his nose. Changing position so he's leaning against the wall, he browses through his contact list. He's not going to ask for help, because this is too bizarre and he doesn't know anyone who could assist with this. Horikita is too material, too condescending. She would assume it was a joke and put him down for it; he thinks that he might be able to convince others that it's for a game or something and get them to help with research, but he doesn't trust anyone enough for that. 

Horikita is really the only person he can count as a friend, so it's sad that she isn't actually one. He thinks this is the kind of special circumstance where outside perspective would be good.

Sometimes, when you get stuck on a problem, the solution is to verbalize it. Speak it out loud and organize your thoughts as you go. You might even say something that you hadn't even consciously thought and have a realization. So Kiyotaka says into the darkness of his room, "I'm stuck in a loop. A time loop."

No realizations are made.

He cocks his head to the side and hums. His plan earlier was correct; he needs information. 

Kiyotaka goes through the motions of getting ready.  It's still early, and this is evidenced by the fact that he hardly runs into anyone as he crosses the grounds. The library is just as he remember it and enters with a wary eye on the shelves. So far he hasn't died from the same thing twice—riding the elevator has been fine—but a little  caution is never wrong. 

This time, the library doesn't kill him. He spends close to four hours in there searching through book after book. Non-fiction doesn't give him what he wants, aside from a few theoretical physics books that aren't really helpful at all, so he turns no fiction books soon enough.

He comes closer, but still doesn't have any concrete information. It bugs him, an itch beneath his skin he can't quite manage to scratch. The idea that he can't figure out why this is happening is annoying; it's not a feeling he enjoys.

Kiyotaka leaves the library feeling empty and with a nearly imperceptible frown on his face.

He goes to the cafeteria for lunch. It's afternoon and far more students are up and about now—being the weekend, they're bright and cheery as they take a break from school. Kiyotaka catches sight of a few students from his class as he walks; Sudou is bouncing a basketball by his side as he talks with some people Kiyotaka doesn't know. Kushida is in the middle of a congestion of students who are all smiling brightly. Horikita walks alone with her head held high and a convenience store bag hanging on her arm.

He doesn't know what to do now. It's a strange feeling and it both excites and worries him. There's no frame of reference here, no prior example he can use to figure out the do's and don'ts. His own experience in mystical events such as this is negligent and can't help; he doesn't know anyone who could possibly be useful in this situation either.

It's a conundrum. 

The loop suggests that he has time. If he always wakes up at the same time and place, then it stands to reason that he can realistically use the method of elimination. He doesn't know how to fix this, but he has time and—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

There's a pressure in his lungs when he wakes up, a scream lodged in his throat. He was dying, dying, dead. His eyes fly open as awareness abruptly returns to him, as suddenly as when you're falling in your dream and returns to consciousness when you hit the ground. He blinks, and he wakes, and his heart is beating again. 

He sits up. Crosses the room and blankly dresses in his uniform, half-heartedly brushing his teeth as he goes. The habit is too ingrained in him for him to ignore it now.

He doesn't go to the library this time. He thinks he will, another time. But for now, there are other avenues to examine.

The first step is telling someone about his circumstance. It doesn't matter who, he just needs to know if someone elseknowing about it has an effect. He strides out of the apartment building and out onto the grounds outside. 

It's early, still. It's always early. The sun is shining, birds are chirping and the winds are pleasantly cool. The leaves gently tremble on the trees, the foliage giving the grounds a much more relaxed atmosphere. Kiyotaka crosses them unhindered, taking the long way around the statue that recently crushed him, spying a student not far ahead. He's seen him around; this is the person who so effortlessly controls Class C.

Kiyotaka catches up to Ryuuen; a student who stands out so much isn't hard to remember. He sees the way Ryuuen tilts his head and shoots him an annoyed glance, and decides that he might as well take the opportunity; "I'm stuck in a time loop," Kiyotaka flatly says.

Ryuuen stops dead in his tracks..

Kiyotaka stops as well. He eyes the harsh glare on Ryuuen's face, the way it twists his features. "Hah?" Ryuuen demands, his fists curling by his sides. "Are you messing with me?"

"No." He waits for Ryuuen to do something. He wonders, does he only go back in time if he dies in an accident, or does it also work if he deliberately dies? 

Something to think about.

Ryuuen eyes him, something calculating in his eyes. His expression shifts and his shoulders ease back from the tension they'd held as the other teenager turns to face him head on. He sneers, "I don't have time to bother with your games. Buzz off."

Kiyotaka tilts his head. He considers the boy before him and what he knows of him. Ryuuen is smart, and he already has an iron grip on his class. As soon as the point system was revealed, Ryuuen immediately started investigating it amongst the upperclassmen and using his class authority to keep the others in his class from wasting their points. 

Kiyotaka doesn't know what's happening. He doesn't know how to stop it, why it's happening, or how to even figure out a plan to deal with it. This is the kind of thing that plainly isn't made for logic, and his mind fails at coming up for plans about it. 

Outside perspective is useful, despite what some of his teachers claimed. It does help, to have another way of looking at the problem.

And he's always been told to take advantage of whatever he can to succeed.

"It's not a game," he says to Ryuuen. He rocks a little on his heels, trying to project honesty. Ryuuen's sneer only grows, so he doesn't think he's doing very well. He continues, "Aren't you curious, if it could be true?"

Ryuuen laughs, the sound mocking. Kiyotaka didn't think a person could sound that mocking while laughing, and makes a note of it. He's not certain what use the ability has, but maybe it's an intimidation thing?

"Alright then," Ryuuen says, a cruel glint in his eyes. The sun catches on his hair, lighting it up from behind. Objectively, Kiyotaka thinks, Ryuuen is probably a good-looking person. "I'll play your game," Ryuuen says. He sweeps his hands out and declares, "I'll tell you a secret. On your next loop, find me and let me know what I told you, and I'll believe you."

It's a better response than Kiyotaka was expecting. He nods, memorizing what Ryuuen tells him. He's not entirely sure what kind of expertise Ryuuen brings to the table, but Kiyotaka has none at—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

His eyes blearily blink open, his eyelids heavy as he stare out at the room before him. His heartbeat is pounding, his breathing quick as he forces his body to calm down. He lays there for a moment, the shock of waking so abruptly still making him uneasy. Like falling in a dream; waking the instant you the ground.

He has a plan now though, and he doesn't waste any time putting it into motion. First off, he needs to find out if anything has changed, if telling Ryuuen about his circumstances changed the game. 

It's still the same time he always wakes up. When he texts Horikita, he gets the same scathing remark in response as usual. He checks the temperature and keeps an eye out as he walks across the school ground toward where he last met Ryuuen. Nothing has changed. It doesn't seem (at first glance, at least) like revealing the truth made any difference.

That does, however, mean that there's nothing holding him back. 

Ryuuen is precisely where he lasts saw him. 

He speeds up, his feet thumping loudly on the ground to announce his presence. Ryuuen turns his head and glances over his shoulder when Kiyotaka gets closer, scowl already on his face. 

He appreciates the fact that Ryuuen so quickly gave him a practical solution last time. It saves him time and effort that are better spent on other avenues. 

Reaching Ryuuen, he wastes no time, "I'm stuck in a time loop. Last loop, you gave me a secret and told me tell it to you and you'd believe me. The secret is: You think pandas are super cute but if I tell anyone else, you'll have me disposed of."

Ryuuen's eyes widens. He snags a hold of Kiyotaka's shirt and pulls him close. "Shut the fuck up," he snarls in Kiyotaka's face, shaking him a little. Kiyotaka lets the man move him, hanging still as a rag doll. It's interesting; everything so far has been interesting. He doesn't know what's happening, and that only makes it all the more fascinating.

Ryuuen starts dragging him along without saying a word. Kiyotaka goes along with it, because there's not a reason not to. He gets dragged to an apartment building, gets dragged into an elevator, dragged onto another floor, dragged into a dorm room that is surprisingly clean for a teenage boy.

He gets dropped onto the bed and furiously glared at when he tries to rise from it, so he simply stays sitting.

Ryuuen paces around the room, his steps steady in a way that says he knows everything his body is capable of. Kiyotaka thinks he must have fighting experience, to move like that. It's the kind of slow, relaxed gait of somebody who knows intimately how to move each body part. Training isn't enough for that, real fighting experience is needed.

"Explain everything that's happened so far," Ryuuen declares, turning to face him. He sits down on the desk chair and stares intently at him.

Kiyotaka dutifully recounts every single thing that's happened so far, knowing how vital the tiniest clue could be. He tells the other teenager of his research and his assumptions, and his minor experiment last time. It feels nice to get everything off his chest and it does help to organize his thoughts, when he has to vocalize everything and put it into words.

It doesn't lead to any sudden realizations, but it makes him feel more settled. He hadn't realized how chaotic the last few days have been until he actually had to explain it.

Ryuuen looks thoughtful when Kiyotaka is done. He falls into silence and waits for Ryuuen's reaction, paying attention to his body language. He's not entirely sure what reaction he's expecting, but he's pleasantly surprised when Ryuuen says, "Fine, I'll help you."

It seems too easy.

All of Kiyotaka's prior experience tells him that it can't possibly be this easy. There should be negotiation and tactics involved. He should have to first investigate the target and then form a plan to approach them; categorize things that can go wrong and how to deal with them. But Ryuuen blows past all that like it doesn't even matter.

It does, of course. That's the point. But Ryuuen seems to think that he's good enough at adjusting things as he goes that he can just ignore it and it'll still work out.

"Alright, then. Let's make a plan," Ryuuen grins wildly, the expression causing something like excitement to stir within Kiyotaka.

Interesting. This has all been very interesting.

They spend the next hour cooking together a plan. It goes far more smoothly than Kiyotaka had imagined planning together with someone else would. It's enjoyable, even. Ryuuen is smart, tactical and has the kind of practicality in his planning that'll take him far. He picks up on the pieces Kiyotaka lays down and builds on it without any trouble.

It's nice, surpassingly. Kiyotaka didn't think it would be, for some reason.

Though he's fairly sure he's going to die soon, he still needs to eat. The human brain needs sustenance to operate at peak capacity, which is what he needs right now, so he's not going to ignore that need just because it's not absolutely necessary right this second. And there is a chance, however small it might be, that he won't die and then he'll suffer tomorrow for not having eaten.

He heads over to the cafeteria, having left Ryuuen to stew alone in his room, and eats a nice, pleasant meal on his lonesome. When he's done, he—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

He shoots up on the bed, his hands clammy as they clench on the mattress. It feels like falling, like hitting the ground and waking up so quickly that it's a shock to his system. His heart is racing, his mouth dry as he stares at the wall. Sunlight is streaming in through the window, the curtain hanging calmly in front of it. 

He presses a hand to his chest and breathes to the count of ten, feeling the beat of his heart slowly calm down. It's fine. Everything is fine.

It's mechanical, getting ready to leave. He's done it so many times before he's fairly confident he could do it in his sleep. Familiar, easy, relaxing. When he's ready, he leaves the apartment building to initiate Phase 1 of the plan.

So far, everything that's killed him has been the result of an accident. Mostly things falling and crushing him, and he doesn't precisely think that that's a coincidence, but it could just be that it's an easy accident to fabricate. Assuming that there is some kind of conscious force guiding this game along.

Because he doesn't think now, that this could be happenstance. Outside, conscious, interference is the only thing that could do this, and whether it's a god or a human it's still a matter of the same thing. Somebody is doing this, which means that there's an objective.

That objective might be amusement, a test, torture, or something else. But it's there, undoubtedly.

If Kiyotaka can find it, he can figure out how to end this.

It's simple, really. All he needs to do is use the method of elimination and the answer will eventually reveal itself. And the first thing to eliminate is—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

Except, not really. Instead, he lurches up on his bed, hunching in on himself as he tries to calm his frantically beating heart. Like falling in a dream, he thinks, and waking up the instant you hit the ground. 

Some part of him recognizes the fact that he's shaking, but a bigger part is preoccupied with how quickly he died the last time around. He wonders, is it the fact that he has a plan? Was putting the plan together and actually moving to execute it something that caused his death this time? Did it make the perpetuator behind this scheme nervous?

It's never good to panic. Staying calm so you can assess all the parts is a necessary component to scheming.

He goes through the bare minimum motions of getting ready, hurrying out the door as soon as he can. The morning sun is heavy on his eyes as he goes, looking for that place where he knows Ryuuen will be. He slows down as he goes, his thoughts organizing into clearly named boxes and he knows what needs to be done.

The first elimination has succeeded, and now it's on to the next thing. It's really not something that requires a lot of effort or planning put into it; all he has to do is methodically go through each option until only one remains. In the meantime, this is the perfect time to get some other, less important but still useful, stuff done.

Ryuuen trods along on the path toward him, his gait slow and predatory. His face is expressionless as he walks, and Kiyotaka finds himself wondering what the other teenager is thinking about. He looks relaxed where he walks alone, his pace steady and unhurried, hands in his pockets as he slowly stalks over the ground. Then he sees Kiyotaka and tension bleeds into his shoulders, a glare in his eyes and a sneer on his lips. Kiyotaka waits and sure enough, Ryuuen keeps walking toward him.

The predatory gait to his steps, the way that danger is folded over him like a cloak, makes something in Kiyotaka sit up and take notice. He eyes the clear musculature under his clothes and the strong lines of his body and wonders if this man would be a challenge. 

When Ryuuen is close enough, Kiyotaka says, "You think pandas are super cute but if I tell anyone else, you'll have me disposed of."

Ryuuen stops in his tracks. His eyes are intelligent and calculating as he looks at Kiyotaka and he doesn't say a word for a moment. In the silence, Kiyotaka starts wondering if he should maybe have started with something else; eased into it. Interactions are still hard for him, because despite the fact that he's been here for two weeks now he still haven't had a lot of chances to practice.

But Ryuuen looks at him, his mind clearly whirling away and Kiyotaka can almost convince himself he sees the moment Ryuuen comes to a conclusion, and it's the correct one. "How many times?" he asks, and Kiyotaka has a bewildering moment where he's not sure what the question refers to.

"You told me four loops ago," he settles on and hopes that that's the correct answer.

"So how's the plan going?" Ryuuen asks, his eyes beginning to sparkle.

Kiyotaka shrugs and says, "The process of elimination will take some time."

"Naturally," Ryuuen nods. He starts walking and says, "You can tell me everything over breakfast."

Kiyotaka sees no reason to refuse. He follows the teenager all the way to the cafeteria where Ryuuen claims a large table for them and splays out, ignoring the annoyed looks of the other people also awake at this early hour. They eat the breakfast in silence, despite what Ryuuen said, and then when all the food is gone, Kiyotaka goes on to explain what's been happening so far.

"If they're panicking because you're working on a solution, you'll probably die again soon," Ryuuen says. He doesn't sound particularly bothered by it, his tone more contemplating in nature.

"Yes," Kiyotaka agrees, because the books say you're supposed to keep the conversation going.

Ryuuen grins. It makes him look wilder, his energy almost blazing off him. If this was an anime, Kiyotaka imagines he would be surrounded by light and the music would be swelling. As it is, that thing inside him perks up and he feels himself sitting straighter in his seat in response. 

He wonders if this is what making friends feel like. If this lightness spreading inside him, if this excitement building within him, is what normal people feel in these situations. He wonders if he might be on his way to succeeding in one of his own self-appointed goals, if he might succeed with Ryuuen where he failed with Horikita.

But he doesn't rush the answers. It's important to not push too harshly, he knows. Friendships will form naturally when people have things in common and so all—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

He's wheezing as he wakes up, his breath rattling in his chest. He feels startled, confused. Like he was falling in his dream and woke up the instant he hit the ground.

He forces his body back under his control and waits until the shaking has stopped. Then he swings his legs over the edge and stands up, walking toward the window. He glances outside, down toward the ground. After a second, he opens the window—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

His mouth feel full of cotton as he returns to the waking world, his heart still beating a mile a minute. He's confused for the barest of seconds before he recalled how he ended up here, how he shook himself awake. It felt like he was falling in a dream, and he woke up when he hit the ground. 

It's interesting, though. Interesting that he can't kill himself, that when he was on the edge of trying, he was instead crushed by his bookcase before he could go through with it. And he doesn't think a single bookcase should have been able to to kill him so easily either, but this loop clearly isn't governed by logic.

As soon as he's wearing proper clothes (he doesn't want to cause a commotion by going out in his sleepwear) Kiyotaka is out the door. It will take quite a lot of loops for his process to give him some answers and in the meanwhile, he's decided to take shameless advantage of this situation. He's overheard the guys in his class talking, and he's under the impression that it's what anyone normal—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

His eyes snap open, awareness rushing back to him in an uncomfortable instant. It's like falling in a dream and waking up when you hit the ground, he thinks. So sudden it's jarring and for a second, he doesn't know what's happening.

The knowledge returns him in one piece instead of scattered pieces and it's appreciated. He stands—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

It feels like his heart is in his throat as he trashes to wakefulness, his eyes already searching for a threat. Like falling, he thinks, and waking up the instant you hit the ground. He forces his breaths under control, forces himself to calm down and take stock of the situation. It's important—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

Blinking blearily up at the ceiling, his hand shoots out for his phone. His heartbeat is still racing in his chest, the sensation not unlike falling in a dream, only to wake up the instant you hit the ground. It's an unnerving feeling and when he checks the clock, nothing's—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

The waking is too sudden, the rush of awareness too raw. He feels like he was falling in a dream, only to wake up the instant—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

His heart hammers in his chest as he breathes himself alive, his blood rushing in his ears. Like falling, he thinks, and waking—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

He blinks himself awake, lying still for a moment before he reaches out for his phone. It felt like he was falling—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

The room is uncomfortably bright when he squints his eyes open. His heart is beating—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

He stares up at the ceiling as he waits for his breaths—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

There's a heaviness in his chest—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

His head is spinning—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

For a moment—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

He feels—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

It's—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's—

Kiyotaka dies, and—

Kiyotaka dies—

Kiyotaka—

Kiyo—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

Or, well, it would be. If things were normal, that would be the end of the story. But he dies, dies, dies, and—wakes up. 

Shakes himself awake, really. His heartbeat is thundering in his ears as he blinks up at the ceiling, the sunlight hitting his eyes causing him to frown. He lays still for a moment, simply waiting. When nothing immediate happens, he heaves himself up and out of the bed.

Brushing a hand through his hair, he hums. So far, he thinks the progress has been steady and more than good enough. He's eliminated enough options that he's fairly certain at this point what the answer is. It's a relief, having a more concrete resolution to this problem. It makes his shoulders lighter, the weight of not having a solution leaving him.

He goes through the motions of getting ready, pulls on his school uniform and leaves his room. He takes the elevator down to the ground level and heads outside, raising a hand to protect himself from the sun's rays. 

Ryuuen is right where he expects him to be, slowly stalking down the road. Kiyotaka speeds up slightly, catching up soon enough. As soon as he's within hearing range, he says, "You think pandas are super cute but if I tell anyone else, you'll have me disposed of."

Ryuuen spins on his heel and demands, "Don't say another word."

Kiyotaka doesn't. He simply waits for Ryuuen to go through all the options and narrow down the possibilities of what's happening, waits for him to say something. 

Like always, Ryuuen doesn't disappoint.

"One of these days, I'll take that as a threat and punch you," Ryuuen declares, but he's already moving into step with him.

Kiyotaka only says, "You haven't so far."

Ryuuen clicks his tongue. He doesn't say anything else and they go to the cafeteria in a comfortable silence. They hardly meet any other students on the road and once in the cafeteria, Ryuuen lays claim to a table without regards for the other early risers who were on their way to it. Kiyotaka follows and sits down with his meal.

"You know what's up yet?" Ryuuen asks when they've finished eating.

"Yes," Kiyotaka says. "Surviving the whole day should do the trick. It's not enough to survive until night, so I think it's twenty-four hours."

Ryuuen nods. The fact that he accepts all this without any hint of hesitation is always something that makes Kiyotaka stop in his tracks in every loop. Ryuuen is too smart and he's too calculating and too good at finding the answers. The way he catches every hint Kiyotaka lays out, the way he finds the answers to questions Kiyotaka never voices... this is a very dangerous man.

Out of everyone at this school, Kiyotaka is now certain that Ryuuen is the most dangerous. It's Ryuuen he'll need to look out for when the school starts their testing. It's Ryuuen he'll have to be careful of.

Others too, of course. But Ryuuen is the one that thinks most like Kiyotaka, that can follow Kiyotaka's line of thinking the easiest. Thus, he is the greatest threat.

"My place or yours?" Ryuuen asks, like it's a forgone conclusion.

"Yours."

They go back to Ryuuen's place, just barely managing to avoid the falling statue and the slippery stairs, and the falling flowerpots. Kiyotaka knows what to do look out for, knows how to keep his perceptions open for danger. But it still takes a toll, the constant—

Kiyotaka dies, and that's that.

He shoots out of the bed as quickly as he can, ignoring his heartbeat slowing down. He rushes through the motions of getting ready and hurries down the stairs, sliding around corners quicker than is safe. He reaches the spot where he always meets Ryuuen and it's empty. Checking his phone, he breathes out in relief and waits.

Ryuuen comes along on the road soon enough. Kiyotaka has a plan now, and so he walks right up to the other teenager, says, "You think pandas are super cute but if I tell anyone else, you'll have me disposed of," and grabs ahold of Ryuuen's hand, already pulling him back to the dorms. 

The fact that Ryuuen just lets him pull him along, follows without saying a word, makes Kiyotaka's stomach tingle. It feels a little like bugs are crawling inside it, trying to force their way up his throat. It's an unsettling feeling, but it doesn't feel bad exactly.

"You have a plan?" Ryuuen asks as they're making their way up the stairs.

"Yes," Kiyotaka answers, still holding onto that hand. It's what saves him when the handrail rips out of its sockets and almost takes him with it, so he congratulates himself for his great decision-making skills. 

They're in front of Ryuuen's door when Ryuuen says, "If this is a prank, I'll ruin you."

"Not a prank."

Ryuuen locks the door behind them, and Kiyotaka walks further into the room. He looks around and decides that yes, his plan will probably work. The lamp isn't over the empty patch of nothing in the middle of the room either, so that works out really well. There are no furniture that can crush him if he's there, either.

So Kiyotaka walks into the middle of the room and sits down on the carpet.

After a second, Ryuuen joins him on the floor. He crosses his legs and stares at Kiyotaka with a gaze that he can't unravel. "Do you plan to just sit here?" Ryuuen asks after a while, still staring. He's frowning slightly, his eyebrows furrowed as his mind works.

"Yes," Kiyotaka answers, because he does. 

If all he has to do is just survive twenty-four hours, then this is a good a place as any to wait for the clock to tick down. He's thrown away his phone so there's no chance of getting electrocuted, and now it's just a matter of waiting.

"Alright," Ryuuen says. 

After about half-an-hour of staring at Kiyotaka, Ryuuen leaves. He comes back with food but Kiyotaka declines it so that he can't choke on it (he did that already, but he's not taking any chances now). Ryuuen only shrugs and eats his own meal in silence. When it's gone, he takes out the trash and then returns again.

"Want a book?" Ryuuen asks eventually.

Kiyotaka shakes his head. "Paper-cuts," he says in response at the questioning look he gets.

Ryuuen goes back to staring again. Kiyotaka doesn't know what he's looking for or what he's finding, but he finds that he doesn't mind it. Ryuuen's gaze is... intense and overwhelming but somehow in a good way. It makes the tingling in his stomach worse, but it never crosses the line into painful.

The hours pass agonizingly slowly, now that he's finally on the cusp of a solution.

Kiyotaka lets his mind flow, lets it wander wherever it will. He makes no effort to control it, no effort to steer its path. It makes the time go slightly faster, if his mind is already running full-steam ahead and veering into paths unknown.

After a while, Ryuuen switches so that he's sitting beside Kiyotaka. He has a textbook in his hands and is slowly going through it with a pencil, writing notes in the margins. 

It's quiet and it's peaceful and it's exactly what Kiyotaka wanted when he made the decision to come to this school. 

He eyes the other teenager; the way he sits with his back straight and his legs splayed out wildly, with no regards for others. The way his eyes narrow as he concentrates, the way he writes notes that are barely more than scribbles and yet succinctly sums up the information. Ryuuen is handsome, too, the kind of handsome that makes him look kind of like a dick. 

The hours wile away slowly, but they do pass and eventually it's night again. The rooms are soundproof enough that he can't hear what's going on outside, and it's all the better. 

Ryuuen looks at the clock and rises to his feet, asking, "Going to sleep?" while he's digging through the closet.

"No," answers Kiyotaka. It's better if he doesn't. It's better if he stays here.

"Okay." Ryuuen says, "Wake me up if you're still alive tomorrow."

Kiyotaka nods. He watches as Ryuuen gets ready for bed, as he changes into sleepwear. He was right, Ryuuen is very clearly well-trained and in good shape. He disappears for a bit into the bathroom but comes back soon enough, and then crawls under the covers while yawning. He turns off the lights, and Kiyotaka looks away from the lump on the bed.

And then he waits. 

Waits, waits, waits.

The clock ticks. Moonlight seeps through the windows. Furniture rattles like it's trying to fall, but never does. It wouldn't reach him anyway and he suspects that whoever's behind this knows that. Clouds block the moonlight for a while but soon enough it's back. Kiyotaka stays sitting, waiting quietly in the darkness.

The sun slowly rises over the horizon. Light seeps in through the window, the curtains utterly failing at blocking it. He doesn't move. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

It's nearly cruel, how leisurely time passes.

But he waits, and eventually... 

Eventually, it's seven in the morning on a Monday, more than twenty-four hours after he woke up this morning. His stomach is grumbling, having been devoid of food for too long. His mouth is dry—he hadn't drunk anything yesterday to ensure he wouldn't drown.

Ryuuen's alarm rattles alive on the bedside table, and the other teenager grumbles on the bed. An arm pokes out of the lump and waves in the air until it finds the alarm clock and crashes down onto it with extreme prejudice.

It's Monday, and Kiyotaka is still alive.